Individuality....

Its 1:30AM and I am really sleepy. However, there is an urgent need to capture my thought...

Its ironic that all of us claim to be individuals and independent knowing the fact thats its a white lie. However, getting to know in essence what individuality is changes the entire perspective of how you perceive things and relationships.

I am a proud individual who is independent, yet dependent for some of my needs. These are are emotional and society driven for most part. However, I still do have my personality with me. Something that distinctively isolates me from others. My eccentric personality was my trade mark for a number of years until I hit the year 2009. They year 2009 has be life changing in a lot off ways.

First, I was away from my home and beloved ones for the longest time in my life. Second, the pressure to excel in whatever I do was tremendous not to mention to be self supporting as well. The combination is lethal enough, but I needed a bigger blow to realize things. Spring 2009 was bad academically. I regained some happiness during summer, only to be short lived. Fall 2009 brought with it a saga of pain that was inflicted like a slow poison to me. A failed relationship, desperate need to feel accepted and loved changed my integrity.

My dependence on an individual began to grow to such an extent that I was a handicap without its presence. My vision was blurred and so was my thought process. I did not realize when I started aping an individual to the point of being crazy. Seeing similarities in a situation only made me seek more. However, like any lost fight, the last blow is the most powerful. The last bye was mine.

But, you see good days after bad ones and so did I. I took off to India for a well deserved reunion with my beloved ones. I regained my individuality and hope. The 2010 brought new sunshine and a new outlook to life. I realized my mistakes and I am sure that I will not make them again. With individuality, came character and the respect that I longed for. Of course, to achieve something you always pay a price. Mine was to maintain a demarked distance with the individual. I realize it is only necessary for my own good. This probably means that the friendship may take a hit (or may be not!), but I am willing to pay the price. The love or the respect for the individual has not diminished or changed, the distance has.

I start this new year as a new life. There is no room for unwanted trouble and relationships. I think I am finally ready to let go of people. My integrity is the most important to me and there will be no compromise towards that!!

To..Individuality and Independence with a dependence....