It amazing how far a human mind can think when its pondering. Today I had my mind go far away into hope. Hope that brings up annuls of my life to the surface...
I come from a normal appearing family from Mumbai. I have always been close to my mother and brother and nothing has changed till date. It all started in the April of 1998. I was too young to decipher reasons behind actions... my fathers First suicide attempt. Everything was busy around me and everyone telling me to focus on studying. No one realized, I was different. I could understand then that my father tried to kill himself. This was just the beginning of the brutal ten years our life. The scars of the past ten years are so fresh that I still do have sleepless and anxious nights... I fear being alone and yet feel its best I am alone. Verbal and physical abuse with alcoholism drama became a daily norm in my life. Being blamed for all the misery became my second name...
Ten years went by.... but one thing remained common.. My mothers hope that things would change.. and they did... She sent me to the US, my brother has an MBA... and my father has sobered down... things that appear normal to me now, still appear abnormal to others, but again, my definition of normal is different...
While watching the latest episode of Criminal minds... the moral hit me hard.. Faith and Hope...
It is very true that faith and hope have varied definitions.. and they change with perspective.. but I agree Faith and hope is good.. for it has given me the most amazing two people in my life- Mom and bhai. I have also been blessed with friends who deeply care for me... but most important, it has given me confidence, that things get fine eventually...
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