Nothingness...

I am on a two week break before I start a hectic lifestyle- The "Up in the Air" lifestyle. All through graduate school I only wanted some stability in my life. I thought I had fulfilled my quota of ambiguity and that it had no room in my life. Yet, here I am, entering the world of ambiguity all over again. I'm attracted to it just like a gay man is attracted to a dick! A mighty big one if I may add a pun.

Just before I left my now previous job, my favourite boss (Ms M W), mentor and a confidant told me to think about nothingness. She told that running all the time would wear me out. I always feared to be alone and this is the perfect time to be alone, think about nothing and just relax. Meditate and let your brain not process anything. Just white noise or a black background. I have been reflecting about it from the past few days now. I was failing horribly. The moment I close my eyes, I begin to think about my next steps, pending chores and to do lists. Its like I never rest. The closest I came to resting was at Vencie beach on Tuesday. Aah.. what a day with my dear friends, semi naked people and the sea. Sleeping off on the beach was just blissful. There were no thoughts, a period of nothingness.

That's when I realized how important it is for the mind to just be blank for a while....